Today

Earlier today, I was feeling restless once again. Well, there're periods of time when I will feel like that. I'm a german shepherd or a bird that cannot be caged. If there is nothing for me to do, I'll get destructive. And if I wanna do something but can't do it, I'll feel very restrained and restricted. Needless to say, I dislike being restricted. Now, I wanna do something that isn't passive, something that is different from simply watching movies or tv series or whatever. I wanna swim, I wanna run, I wanna bowl, I wanna go up to Mount Faber for some snacks & quiet moments at night(yes sounds crazy but this was indeed my thought tonight), wanna go out and walk around a bit. But of course, I didn't get what I wished for again, one of the many things that happen in life. Sometimes u just can't get what you want, for many reasons. Maybe your schedule, or maybe the schedule of others (afterall, u need the right people to do the right stuff with).

Exams are coming soon, things are gonna get more stressful, people are gonna get busier. Actually all I ask for is a day for me to release all the extra pent up energy before I can sit down like a sedentary animal to do my work. How many days has it been, since I last lived like a proper human being? Come to think of it, actually comm work and hall life do help. When I was doing comm work, I don't feel that bored, because I have stuff to complete. Bored is not only what I will be when I have nothing to do, it is what I'll be when I can't do the things I wanna do. This evening, I was feeling so sick and tired of not having some stuff beside me, and so tired of having to be restricted by stuff. Let me give you an example: I'm very very sick of not having Sydney, my dog with me now that I'm living in school. Seriously, it's not easy to adjust to this. After so many years of having her by my side, never failing to be there for me. Can you imagine me having to live without animals? no more fish, no dog, no plants, nothing! omg.. horrible... and I forgot to add, no more music! cannot play organ also. Gone were the days when I could plant stuff in my free time, go for a stroll with my doggie, watch the fishes (itz relaxing and proven to be good) and play the organ whenever my fingers itch. It's taking a toll on me. I need nature!!!!!!!

Talking about dogs... I was just thinking about Sydney while I was trying to sleep. Why do I love dogs so much? They are loyal, your best friend, forever there for you when you need them, don't hurt you, dont judge you, don't harm or manipulate you, never tired, don't criticise you, nor try to act smart & boast, give you unconditional love, forever stable, the list can go on..... Amazing right? *respect* I really wonder how they do it sometimes. No matter what, when u're having a bad day, they'll always be there, to run to you, cuddle up, wag their tail and sit there to listen to ur complains. For me, I yet to reach that level of perfection yet. Still trying. Cause I'm a human being, remember? Humans are less perfect than dogs.

Anyhow, good news is, I've finally cured myself of that boredommmm.... decided to watch a movie. see how la.. after typing for so long, mayb i can do other stuff. Feel much better now. Guess all the negative stuff I had in my brain can be thrown out of the window now.